Twisdom from jon_m_green, March 30, 2020 at 07:17PM

This is possibly the most accurate gif I've ever seen. pic.twitter.com/mbH9lvQ641

— Jon Green (@jon_m_green) March 30, 2020

via Twitter https://twitter.com/jon_m_green

March 30, 2020 at 07:17PM

Twisdom from kellysue, March 30, 2020 at 09:39PM

"I have the self-esteem of a professional comedian," says my 12-year-old, chilling me to the bone.

— Kelly Sue DeConnick (@kellysue) March 31, 2020

via Twitter https://twitter.com/kellysue

March 30, 2020 at 09:39PM

Twisdom from AnnaKendrick47, March 30, 2020 at 04:26PM

I guess I’ll never be able to lie to myself again about all the shit I would do if I just had the time.

— Anna Kendrick (@AnnaKendrick47) March 30, 2020

via Twitter https://twitter.com/AnnaKendrick47

March 30, 2020 at 04:26PM

Twisdom from JeffMcAdams, March 30, 2020 at 09:25AM

I will say, as a manager for remote teams for a while now (pre COVID-19). Business hours can be a useful gating function to encourage remote team members to not overwork themselves. Work/life balance is important, and business hours can provide a guideline framework.

— Jeff McAdams (@JeffMcAdams) March 30, 2020

via Twitter https://twitter.com/JeffMcAdams

March 30, 2020 at 09:25AM

Twisdom from katsudonburi, March 29, 2020 at 11:33AM

“Most writers don’t make enough to live on so it’s okay to give books away for free and thus pay them even less” is sure an interesting, shit-covered hill to die on.

— Alex Acks (@katsudonburi) March 29, 2020

via Twitter https://twitter.com/katsudonburi

March 29, 2020 at 11:33AM

Twisdom from InternetHippo, March 27, 2020 at 12:21PM

i may be stuck at home but at least i have access to technology that allows me to see the worst information on earth and get insanely mad about it

— california guy now (@InternetHippo) March 27, 2020

via Twitter https://twitter.com/InternetHippo

March 27, 2020 at 12:21PM

Twisdom from winston_chang, March 24, 2020 at 01:45PM

If there's a baby boom in 9 months, it'll consist entirely of first-born children.

— Winston Chang (@winston_chang) March 24, 2020

via Twitter https://twitter.com/winston_chang

March 24, 2020 at 01:45PM

Twisdom from AthertonKD, March 25, 2020 at 12:32PM

Places I've lived, in order:

Security, AK
Question, AL
Answers, AR
Volunteered, AZ
Willingly, CA
Harvested, CO
At, CT
Scale, DE
Make, FL
Phishing, GA
Easier, HI

— Kelsey D. Atherton (@AthertonKD) March 25, 2020

via Twitter https://twitter.com/AthertonKD

March 25, 2020 at 12:32PM

Twisdom from jduffyrice, March 23, 2020 at 10:22PM

Today has made it very clear how many people would have absolutely justified slavery because “the economy”

— josie duffy rice (@jduffyrice) March 24, 2020

via Twitter https://twitter.com/jduffyrice

March 23, 2020 at 10:22PM

Twisdom from TheTweetOfGod, March 24, 2020 at 03:53PM

Six feet away or six feet under.

— God (@TheTweetOfGod) March 24, 2020

via Twitter https://twitter.com/TheTweetOfGod

March 24, 2020 at 03:53PM

Twisdom from erikbryn, March 23, 2020 at 10:01AM

Overheard:

The one thing we've learned from this crisis is that if the Martians invaded earth, our first response would be to lower interest rates.

— Erik Brynjolfsson (@erikbryn) March 23, 2020

via Twitter https://twitter.com/erikbryn

March 23, 2020 at 10:01AM

Twisdom from Sabrina_McDa, March 22, 2020 at 04:17PM

All the major cruise lines are asking for bailouts from the U.S. Government.

Yet, Disney Cruises sails under the Bahamian flag ... Celebrity Cruises under Liberian/Maltese flags & Carnival Cruises under the Panamanian flag - all to avoid U.S. taxes & employment law

Just sayin'

— Sabrina McDaniel (@Sabrina_McDa) March 22, 2020

via Twitter https://twitter.com/Sabrina_McDa

March 22, 2020 at 04:17PM

Twisdom from 502eire, March 23, 2020 at 09:43AM

Just a tip from someone that was once home bound for an extended period with a broken ankle: Start your car and if possible drive it around a bit every couple of weeks or so. Lotta cars (especially in two car families) are gonna be needing a jump when all of this is is over.

— Dawn (@502eire) March 23, 2020

via Twitter https://twitter.com/502eire

March 23, 2020 at 09:43AM

Twisdom from howardtayler, March 23, 2020 at 12:24AM

"Every time you break isolation, someone will die," said the djinn. "But it will be a person you do not know."

"Harsh, but I have work to do," said the man.

"Done," said the djinn. "And good luck. I am granting this wish to ten thousand people who do not know YOU."

— Howard Tayler (@howardtayler) March 23, 2020

via Twitter https://twitter.com/howardtayler

March 23, 2020 at 12:24AM

Twisdom from jbouie, March 22, 2020 at 03:20PM

rand paul using the senate gym and pool despite knowing he might have coronavirus is a clue in the mystery of why his neighbor whipped his ass.

— b-boy bouiebaisse (@jbouie) March 22, 2020

via Twitter https://twitter.com/jbouie

March 22, 2020 at 03:20PM

Twisdom from protectheflames, March 22, 2020 at 08:00AM

"I stopped him and said, 'Look, this isn't a movie. You are not Will Smith in I Am Legend. Go home."
This is the updated compilation of Italian Mayors losing it at people violating #Covid19 quarantine. Yes, subtitles are accurate. pic.twitter.com/60V4Csuonb

— 🌈 (@protectheflames) March 22, 2020

via Twitter https://twitter.com/protectheflames

March 22, 2020 at 08:00AM

Twisdom from oliviakrauth, March 03, 2020 at 06:25PM

💫 pulling back the curtain 💫

before grilling reporters for not talking to someone, think: did they get a chance to interview them?

chances are, no. it is common for reporters to need to email questions and get canned responses from a spokesperson. pic.twitter.com/eC9l4h03wj

— Olivia Krauth (@oliviakrauth) March 3, 2020

via Twitter https://twitter.com/oliviakrauth

March 03, 2020 at 06:25PM

Twisdom from MaryRobinette, March 19, 2020 at 11:31PM

I think we've got the order of words wrong. It's not social distancing, it's distance socializing.

— Mary Robinette Kowal@🏡 (@MaryRobinette) March 20, 2020

via Twitter https://twitter.com/MaryRobinette

March 19, 2020 at 11:31PM

Twisdom from maxbrooksauthor, March 16, 2020 at 02:47PM

A message from me and my dad, @Melbrooks. #coronavirus #DontBeASpreader pic.twitter.com/Hqhc4fFXbe

— Max Brooks (@maxbrooksauthor) March 16, 2020

via Twitter https://twitter.com/maxbrooksauthor

March 16, 2020 at 02:47PM

Twisdom from pklinkne, March 15, 2020 at 11:29AM

Lots of poo-pooing 3% mortality, saying "But 97% will survive!" To give some sense of how staggering these losses would be as a % of the US population it would equal:

1.5 x Civil War
27 x WW I
5 x 1918 Influenza
10 x WW II
125 x Korean War
106 x Vietnam
2854 x 9/11

— Philip Klinkner (@pklinkne) March 15, 2020

via Twitter https://twitter.com/pklinkne

March 15, 2020 at 11:29AM

Twisdom from joesonka, March 12, 2020 at 06:32PM

Wife says it’s ironic that the preppers tend to be the ones who think this is a hoax

— Joe Sonka 😐 (@joesonka) March 12, 2020

via Twitter https://twitter.com/joesonka

March 12, 2020 at 06:32PM

Twisdom from MarkEnnis, March 12, 2020 at 03:01PM

We're about to be reduced to reading books. Y'all are in my world, now.

— Mark Ennis (@MarkEnnis) March 12, 2020

via Twitter https://twitter.com/MarkEnnis

March 12, 2020 at 03:01PM

Twisdom from rkahne, March 12, 2020 at 12:45PM

If you guys are wondering what "flatten the curve" looks like, a pretty good example is with the KY Hep A outbreak, where Louisville took everything very seriously, and the rest of the state struggled. pic.twitter.com/AhSURLFxB3

— Robert Kahne (@rkahne) March 12, 2020

via Twitter https://twitter.com/rkahne

March 12, 2020 at 12:45PM

Twisdom from GillianHTurner, March 12, 2020 at 10:54AM

BREAKING: The World Health Organization has announced that dogs cannot contract Covid-19. Dogs previously held in quarantine can now be released. To be clear, WHO let the dogs out.

— Gillian Turner (@GillianHTurner) March 12, 2020

via Twitter https://twitter.com/GillianHTurner

March 12, 2020 at 10:54AM

Twisdom from Sarklor, March 06, 2020 at 07:13PM

"Self-isolation":
- Boring, clinical
- Following the orders of a government
- Nobody will notice your effort

"Exiled for the good of the realm"
- Mysterious
- Sexy
- Everyone will wonder what you did

— Ciarán's Artisanal Shitposting (@Sarklor) March 7, 2020

via Twitter https://twitter.com/Sarklor

March 06, 2020 at 07:13PM

Twisdom from JasonRileyWDRB, March 11, 2020 at 09:56PM

This seems terrifyingly accurate https://t.co/xuaTGkJXEt

— Jason Riley (@JasonRileyWDRB) March 12, 2020

via Twitter https://twitter.com/JasonRileyWDRB

March 11, 2020 at 09:56PM

Twisdom from smasheroteacups, March 11, 2020 at 08:06AM

I know we’re all tired of hearing/talking about it, but one thing I HAVEN’T really seen going around is advice for what happens if you DO get coronavirus (many of us will), only advice for how to try to AVOID it. So as your friendly neighborhood RN, a wee thread:

— smashingteacups (@smasheroteacups) March 11, 2020

via Twitter https://twitter.com/smasheroteacups

March 11, 2020 at 08:06AM

Twisdom from ScaryMommy, March 10, 2020 at 04:11PM

Experts advise washing your hands for the length of time it takes for your child to put on shoes.

— Scary Mommy (@ScaryMommy) March 10, 2020

via Twitter https://twitter.com/ScaryMommy

March 10, 2020 at 04:11PM

Twisdom from MarkEnnis, March 11, 2020 at 09:29AM

Bernie is the equivalent of every fan base whose school has never lost a recruit they really wanted. It is *always* someone else’s fault. https://t.co/cd3w7XrEBj

— Mark Ennis (@MarkEnnis) March 11, 2020

via Twitter https://twitter.com/MarkEnnis

March 11, 2020 at 09:29AM

Twisdom from LordGrimdark, March 10, 2020 at 03:57PM

I think there's this romantic notion that writers should look inwards, and listen only to the muse, and refuse to pollute their special vision with outside influence, and I think like most romantic notions it's kinda bollocks.

— Joe Abercrombie (@LordGrimdark) March 10, 2020

via Twitter https://twitter.com/LordGrimdark

March 10, 2020 at 03:57PM

Twisdom from AnyaVolz, March 09, 2020 at 10:54AM

My mom putting coronavirus hype into perspective:

"Many more people die of preventable starvation but the rich cannot catch that."

— Anya Volz (@AnyaVolz) March 9, 2020

via Twitter https://twitter.com/AnyaVolz

March 09, 2020 at 10:54AM

Twisdom from Iconawrites, March 06, 2020 at 10:21PM

Women who grew up watching Disney movies think a husband is the man you live happily ever after with. Those of us who grew up reading the old myths know he is the man who shall break the one condition you set him and force you to return to the sea from whence you came.

— Icona📚 (@Iconawrites) March 7, 2020

via Twitter https://twitter.com/Iconawrites

March 06, 2020 at 10:21PM

Twisdom from laurent_parente, March 06, 2020 at 08:58PM

Happy to see @WellthonApp featured in @remote_how 's brand new "The Ultimate Guide to Remote Team Building Activities". It's a great read and I've learn a lot myself from the other 35 teams present in there.

Freely available here : https://t.co/TYRKg3IhUd #remotework

— Laurent Parenteau (@laurent_parente) March 7, 2020

via Twitter https://twitter.com/laurent_parente

March 06, 2020 at 08:58PM

Twisdom from PicardTips, March 04, 2020 at 02:31PM

Picard management tip: For each command, assign it to one person, or ask for a volunteer. Don't ask a crowd to take an action.

— Picard Tips (@PicardTips) March 4, 2020

via Twitter https://twitter.com/PicardTips

March 04, 2020 at 02:31PM

Twisdom from jbenton, March 03, 2020 at 03:47PM

Consider this my gift to the world:

Here are the daily/Sunday circulations of the largest newspapers in the United States — information that is surprisingly difficult to find online!

These are all the papers with daily circulation of at least 75,000: pic.twitter.com/G0WbQiIYTP

— Joshua Benton (@jbenton) March 3, 2020

via Twitter https://twitter.com/jbenton

March 03, 2020 at 03:47PM

Twisdom from 502eire, March 03, 2020 at 01:11PM

My mom, you guys. pic.twitter.com/JCHAyqk3CD

— Dawn (@502eire) March 3, 2020

via Twitter https://twitter.com/502eire

March 03, 2020 at 01:11PM

Twisdom from JoeDunman, March 03, 2020 at 11:14AM

Rest assured that our government is hard at work trying to determine the precise interest rate necessary to defeat a deadly virus.

— Joe Dunman (@JoeDunman) March 3, 2020

via Twitter https://twitter.com/JoeDunman

March 03, 2020 at 11:14AM

Twisdom from Lhlodder, March 01, 2020 at 11:51PM

Marriage is having a million things to do after putting your kids to sleep and choosing to postpone it all to spend quality time with your spouse.

— Mommy Owl (@Lhlodder) March 2, 2020

via Twitter https://twitter.com/Lhlodder

March 01, 2020 at 11:51PM