Predicting Battlestar Galactica, season 4

For those that need to catch up, here's Battlestar Galactica seasons 1-3 in 8 minutes. Now that we're all on the same page, here's my completely unfounded theory as to the outcome of BSG season 4.

Nobody's a Cylon, not even the Cylons.

That is to say, the division between "humans" and "Cylons" is a false one, because neither is any more or less human than the other.

Now, the whole "All Along the Watchtower" deal pretty much ended any speculation about who was a colony of who. Unless Bob Dylan or Jimi Hendrix was a Cylon--and possibly a time traveler--Earth preceded the Twelve Colonies. Whether Earth preceded Kobol is a matter of mild debate, but I don't think so.

Earth begat Kobol. Kobol begat the Colonies. The Colonies begat the Cylons. "All of this has happened before. All of it will happen again."

Now, this is pretty much consensus amongst BSG fandom. Where I fall into the wacko minority is in suggesting that nobody from Kobol, the Colonies, or the Cylon homeworld is human. Not in the descending-from-Earthlings sense. My theory:

Earth begat a race of artificial lifeforms, which warred against they're creators and set out for their own world, which they called Kobol. The so-called Lords of Kobol, inspired by Earth's Greek gods, thus made their own creations, who worshiped and served the Lords. These creations eventually despoiled paradise, setting off for their own worlds--the Twelve Colonies. Some, however, left for Earth, choosing to seek out their points of origin, and leaving signposts along the way (like the Eye of Jupiter and the plague probe).

The Colonists, of course created the Cylons, who rebelled, evolved, and found a plan. Along the way, they scoped out the repeating cycle of this generational drama, and are trying to "win" by exterminating their forebearers, either because that's how the script of past destiny says things must end--show me some living Lords of Kobol--or because that's the only way they can break the cycle and prevent their own successors from exterminating them.

Who succeeds the Cylons? Probably Hera, the hybrid child of Helo and Athena, though if Chief Tyrol is a Cylon and Callie isn't, that means their son is also of the Next Race.

Thus, nobody is a Cylon, because everybody is a Cylon. They're all post- and sub-human. If I'm right, when they reach Earth, they'll find a broken, abandoned place, filled at best with the Kobol refugees and pitiful survivors of the first exodus. It's not salvation, it's not paradise, it's a harsh dose of reality that both races are on their own.

Moreover, somewhere in the genetic imperative of all the children of Earth is this inherent need to return home. It's not just passed on from generation to generation, but from species to species. That's what "watchtower" represents, the (surprisingly catchy) siren call of Earth.

Oh, and since this is the last season, Roslin, Adama, and the Galactica all get 'sploded at some point, just to forbid any chance at a sequel (that's close to how show co-creator Ron Moore ended Deep Space Nine, with the band irrevocably broken up). And, so long as I'm making wild guesses, I'd say Lee becomes President, Kara becomes head of the military, and they still can never be together--by virtue of their duties.

Starting tonight, we'll begin to see if I'm right.

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